Writing here is like returning to an old friend, chagrinned with the time that has passed between you, yet familiar and comforting.
I rather enjoy writing. On Tim Ferris’s podcast interview with Kevin Kelly, they said writing is a thinking process for them. And I agree, I organize my thoughts best when I have time to put it down on page. Space is imperative to this internal decluttering process, structuring words so that they make sense and flow.
2020 was not the year of having space, but 2021 needs to become that for me.
If you follow me on social media, it’s no secret that I’ve been slammed with astrology consults, teaching classes, podcast interviews, and other projects for the last year. 2020 was like a continuous sprint, without any meaningful breaks to rest and recover. Gratitude does not begin to cover how I feel about my steadily growing practice!
Naturally, this is not a pace anyone can reasonably maintain. The last 2 weeks I officially hit my physical limit, gratefully just as I’m wrapping many things up simultaneously.
What you may not know, is that I have ongoing chronic health issues. In particular, permanent damage to my adrenal glands and nervous system, and what seems to be lifelong misdiagnosed Ehlers-Danlos syndrom. Regulating my energy outflow is a major task in my life. Pushing myself too hard for too long has the potential to put me on bedrest for an indeterminate amount of time.
Physical limitation was a big part of coming to terms with my Daemon, a key theme of the last 8 year Venus cycle I just ended.
The reason I have permanent damage to my adrenal glands, is because I pushed too hard. Had I not reached a point of no return I doubt I would have listened to the little Jiminy Cricket sitting on my shoulder nudging me to chill out. I still struggle with it, as you can see. But I’m at least smart enough to know when it’s mission critical for me to stop.
So first, the good news: after months of going back and forth to an ear-nose-throat specialist, I will NOT be requiring a vocal-node surgery. While I’ve had nodules developing on my vocal chords, I’ve been combatting it with physical and herbal therapy as much as I can. Seems I’ve reversed the damage enough to avoid this painful procedure.
However, I will need to take it easy for the next several months. And I’ve been told under no uncertain terms that I absolutely can never return to the volume of calls and recordings I have kept for the duration of 2020.
My vocal chords simply can not handle having 3-5 astrology readings, 4 days a week, not to mention recording classes, getting on 2-3 hour zoom office hour calls with my students, chatting on podcasts, and the precious little personal time I steal away to be with my darling partners.
Interestingly, I had already seen this coming down the pipeline in November 2020. You may recall the post I made on Twitter in January 2021, in which I revealed I felt I served my clients and community best by teaching. I listed a dream suite of courses I wanted to create in 2021.
In the months since, I have also been considering the numerous messages I had from clients and community members, asking for a safe space to explore animism, astrology, and magic. I agreed this was lacking, and began to dream what could be done about this.
The truth is, I create my most impactful, meaningful work when I give myself SPACE to create. I also believe community is fundamental to changing our world. Why couldn’t both of these goals be sychronous with one another?
My Venus is in Capricorn, my third house of community and neighbors. It also rules my twelfth house of meditation, recovery, isolation, and exploring hidden depths. And as it so happens, I just finished a major 8 year Venus cycle (thank you for the brilliant work Pallas, which helped me to recall this).
Social values and my pursuit of them is up for an overhaul.
So, first thing’s first, I am taking a minimum 3 month break from readings. I will not open them back up until July. This will give me the much needed space to create the work I find most meaningful, as well as time to let my vocal chords fully recover.
Considering I have been giving 12-20 (sometimes more) readings every week since spring of 2020, this will be a little foreign to me at first. This is good. The vacuum of space will be filled with rest, contemplation, connecting with nature, and stretching my creative wings.
Much of this time will just be for me, and no one else. From time to time I may share my journey on social media, but I plan to selfishly hoard my recovery as much as possible.
And…
Showing up more for this community is both an honor and a bit scary. Every day I remind myself that I am consciously working towards becoming a wise woman, and the nexus of wisdom is generosity of knowledge and time.
This starts with giving myself space for deep rest that feeds my soul and creative drive. In turn, this becomes a gift to you, dear reader.
I hope that you are as excited as I am about these plans, and that these resources will help you become deeply resourced to live in an authentic, connected, and nurturing praxis.
